When someone you care about loses a loved one, it can be difficult to know what to say or how to help. Many of us worry about saying the wrong thing or making things worse, but simple kindness and presence often mean more than any perfect words.
At Coastal Legacy, we meet people across Hampshire, Gosport, Fareham, and Portsmouth who are coping with loss, and we see how much difference a thoughtful friend can make. Here’s how you can offer meaningful support when someone is grieving.
1. Be There — and Keep Showing Up
In the early days of grief, practical help and quiet presence are often the most valuable gifts you can give.
You might:
- Bring round a home-cooked meal or some shopping
- Offer lifts to appointments or the funeral
- Sit with them and listen without judgement
Grief doesn’t follow a timetable. Staying in touch after the first few weeks — with a text, a coffee invitation, or a walk — helps your friend know they’re not forgotten once the immediate shock has passed.
2. Listen More Than You Speak
When someone is grieving, what they often need most is to be heard. Avoid trying to “fix” their pain or find explanations for what’s happened. Instead, give them space to share memories, cry, or simply sit in silence.
You could say:
“I don’t have the right words, but I’m here for you.”
“That must be so hard — would you like to talk about it?”
It’s your compassion and patience that will make them feel truly supported.
3. Be Gentle and Avoid Common Clichés
Phrases like “They’re in a better place” or “Everything happens for a reason” are usually said with good intentions, but they can sometimes hurt more than help.
Grief is unique for everyone. Focus on empathy rather than advice, and remember that some days, the best thing you can do is simply acknowledge their pain.
4. Offer Practical Help
Small, everyday tasks can feel overwhelming during grief. Instead of saying “Let me know if you need anything”, offer something specific, such as:
- “Can I take the dog for a walk this week?”
- “Would you like me to pick up some groceries?”
- “Shall I come over and keep you company this evening?”
Practical, gentle gestures show you care without adding pressure.
5. Keep Remembering
After a few months, many people stop checking in, assuming life has returned to normal. But anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays can be especially difficult.
Marking these moments with a message, card, or visit shows your friend that their loss — and their loved one — are still remembered.
6. Encourage Professional Help if Needed
Grief can take a toll on both mental and physical health. If your friend seems overwhelmed or unable to cope, gently suggest they speak to a bereavement counsellor or local support group.
Organisations such as Cruse Bereavement Support and Marie Curie offer free resources across the UK.
Supporting with Compassion
You don’t need to have the perfect words to comfort someone who’s grieving. Simply being kind, patient, and present can mean more than you’ll ever know.
At Coastal Legacy, we understand how emotional these times can be. We’re here to support families not only through will writing, but also through the broader journey of planning and care.
When You’re Ready to Plan Ahead
If you’ve recently lost someone and want to make sure your own wishes are clear for the future, writing a will is a simple and loving step.
👉 Contact Coastal Legacy today for friendly, professional guidance on planning ahead with care.